How Assumptions Affect Communication
October 31st, 2011What you give is what you get. This is never truer than with communication. I provided business coaching to an attorney who needed assistance with presentations and creating meaningful business relationships. I asked “what is your view of people in general?” He replied “they are often liars and out to get you.” This was the exact message he was sending in his word selection and non-verbal behaviors. He assumed people were bad, so when he met people, he asked somewhat accusatory questions while having his arms folded across his chest. How would you respond if someone acted this way toward you? You would probably clam up and think “he’s the reason there are so many lawyer jokes.”
The goal in presentations and in day to day life is to create a feeling of openness and likability. Author Shellie Rushing Tomlinson says “I’m like a stray dog, unless you’re throwing sticks at me, I’m gonna assume you like me.” By projecting happiness even when things are not in your favor, you create a space where it’s easy for people to like you and want to help you succeed. Albert Einstein said “the most important question any human being can ask themselves is, ‘Is this a friendly universe?’”
